Shortest Story of All
Birds, Frye Speak, and the Art of Not Talking
(Puerto Rican. Not exotic.)
Client, when we first meet:
“Heeeeeey! This is my unit I need you to clean—isn’t it amazing?”
(Mind: That upspeak is driving me insane. Yeah... nice view.)
“Yes... blah blah blah... Are you from Brazil?”
(Mind: Puerto Rico. But go on, colonizer Barbie.)
“How exotic!”
(Mind: Yup. She said it. She actually said it.)
“We’re a business…”
(Mind: Here it comes. Bet it’s another Airbnb hustle.)
“...called Oasis…”
(upspeak... vocal fryyyyy...)
“...we’re really focused on the guest experience... blah blah blah…”
(Mind: Is that a bird? On top of that building?)
She closes the door.
“Byeeee!”
Me:
“Bye.”
That was actually the only word I spoke the whole time.
Also?
Yeah, that was a bird.
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